DARKMATTERS - The Mind of Matt

You met me at a very strange time in my life...

Monday, July 13, 2009

Darkmatters review - Brüno



Brüno (18)

Dir. Larry Charles

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (at a raucous late night screening)

ONE WORD SUMMATION: Kugelsack-for-the-masses

2006 saw the excellent ‘Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan’ blast a strong comedy shockwave across the world as Sasha Baron Cohen provoked middle America into showing their bigoted ugly faces to the camera. Now he’s back with Brüno – originally entitled ‘Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt’ and that title pretty much sums it up…

Brüno may have a weaker storyline than Borat, i.e. the overly camp Brüno (Cohen), a disgraced fashion TV presenter, goes to the USA to try and become a celebrity, but it overcompensate with levels of crudeness beyond what you’d usually expect of even an ’18 rated’ movie (although have just seen announcement that there will be a toned down 15 version also hitting screens).

If you’re at all squeamish about sexual imagery – we’re talking full close up male bits to camera, which are even hilariously animated to talk at one point - then you might want to look elsewhere for your laughs but if you’ve a very open mind or are looking to be challenged about people’s
responses to overt sexuality then you won’t find a funnier or more subversive big screen ‘outing’ this year.

Brüno closely follows the Borat formula of setting up deliberately incendiary situations such as a proposed peace negotiation between Israelis and Palestinians where the only thing they can agree on is that ‘humus is healthy’. Other highlights include a ‘can’t believe he’s doing this’ adoption of an African baby named OJ who he takes on black TV chat show and causes uproar, plus a climactic cage wrestling session where the term ‘man on man combat’ is put through a new definition much to the indignation and violent outrage of the beer fuelled redneck crowd.

Cohen certainly has balls in his kugelsack and he’s not shy about showing them – there is even a crazy scene of them being vacuumed at one point. But where Borat got away with lots of his racist outrageous world views due to his bumbling cultural ineptitude, Brüno often comes across
as being a less likeable and self indulgent glory hunter.

It is hard however to resist getting to witness a terrorist being asked to his face why his “King Osama looks kind of like a dirty wizard or a homeless Santa Claus?” or to wonder quite how far this self-confessed ‘hottest Austrian export since Hitler’ will go. The only way to find out is to take a date with Brüno, you might never be the same…

Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 – balls to the wall comedy goes OTT!!)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 7
Style 7
Babes 4
Comedy 8
Horror 6
Spiritual Enlightenment 3

Darkmatters does s darko



S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale (15)

Dir. Chris Fisher

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

ONE WORD SUMMATION: Manipulated-Living

“Look up there on that screen and try to visualise what you think God’s plan for your life is...” Pastor John, S. Darko

Life is one long insane trip. Some people just have better directions…

This genius tagline from Donnie Darko is very true when comparing the two ‘Darko’ films. I love Donnie Darko and now having witnessed S. Darko (which my son suggested they should have called ‘Sammie Darko’) I think the torrent of negative reviews it has attracted are somewhat unjustified.

Donnie Darko swept along on the genius that Richard ‘Southland Tales’ Kelly imbibed into it. S. Darko however travels in the slip stream of Donnie, it’s an engaging, thought provoking trip that seems uncertain of its freakiness just as Donnie has seemed so surely through the wormholes of tangent universes.

Is S.Darko a terrible movie? No – not in it’s own right, but is it terrible in the light of it being the sequel to one of the best films of all time?

Undeniably…

What’s it all about then? Well, this is the tale of Samantha Darko (yep, ill fated Donnie’s little sister) played again by Daveigh Chase- who has grown up all oddly sexy in a kind of Alicia Silverstone / Liv Tyler circa Aerosmith Cryin’ video way.

S. Darko is now a troubled teen who runs away from home with her bratty best friend Corey (Briana Evigan) – the two girls hit the open road but break down in a freakshow Utah town. Whilst waiting for their car to be repaired by local heart throb Randy (Ed ‘Gossip Girl’ Westwick) with whom Corey gets very friendly.

Twilight star Jackson Rathbone pops up as nerdorama Jeremy who has a thing for Samantha, also around is Iraq Jack (James Lafferty) who for reasons probably only known to the writer decides to make a ‘Frank’ metal bunny mask.

Throw into the oddball mix religious nutjob Pastor John (Matthew Davis) who may or may not be taking advantage of his one true disciple Trudy (Elizabeth Berkley).

Here's some sample dialogue:

Pastor John: “I used to be like you.”
Corey: “What, you had a training bra?”
Pastor John: “Not exactly. But when I was your age, I experienced things that made me feel like God didn't exist. Maybe you've experienced something like that too.”
Sam: “You don't know anything about me.”
Pastor John: “I can see that you're in pain.”
Sam: “I'm alive.”

So Sam’s story is less a standard sequel, more a companion piece, a lesser piece for sure but still an interesting one.

If you’re a Darko fan, then you might want to give this a look because there are some amazing scenes, stunning visuals and hey Briana Evigan is cute. But you absolutely have to set your expectations to ‘low’ because if you hope for a classic follow up then you’ll be lost in a time bending loop of disappointment…

"...what if you could go back in time, and take all those hours of pain and darkness and replace them with something better?"

Darkmatters final rating of: öööööö (6 – Living Recievers will worry about the Darko quality control)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 6
Style 7
Babes 7
Comedy 5
Horror 6
Spiritual Enlightenment 6


"Red car of death approaches"

A storm is coming, Frank says / A storm that will swallow the children / And I will deliver them from the kingdom of pain / I will deliver the children back the their doorsteps / And send the monsters back to the underground / I'll send them back to a place where no-one else can see them / Except for me / Because I am Donnie Darko…


Not convinced? Read what Marc Patterson over at the awesome Brutal As Hell has to say:

"For me Donnie Darko was simply the 12 Monkeys and Mouth of Madness for a different younger generation of movie viewers and watching it gave me a sense that others had tread this ground before and done so with perhaps a bit more intelligence. Ironically, a little over halfway through S. Darko there is a scene set at a movie theater where the featured attractions are shown on the marquis written backwards. Pay attention. They say “Twelve Monkeys” and “Strange Days”. Two not so subtle nods to a couple of influential films."

Friday, July 10, 2009

Matt 'Tiger Woods' Adcock is a Bad Ass Gamer


"Thanks Matt, glad you liked it!"

Just been appointed Head Writer over at the rather excellent BAD ASS GAMER site...

Kicking off with my Tiger Woods PGA Tour ‘10 review - click here to read it:
http://www.badassgamerblog.com/2009/07/tiger-woods-pga-tour-10-review.html

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.” Tiger Woods...

Tiger’s cup of golfing goodness runs very deep this year!

Monday, July 06, 2009

Darkmatters Review - Public Enemies



Public Enemies (15)

Dir. Michael Mann

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (with good friends J and G)

ONE WORD SUMMATION: Crimtastic

“I like baseball, movies, good clothes, fast cars... and you. What else you need to know?
My name is John Dillinger and if you ask me what I want? – I’ll tell you - everything.
Right now.”

Public Enemies see Johnny Depp playing the infamous criminal Dillinger in Michael ‘Heat’ Mann’s love letter to the 1930s one man Chicago crimewave. This is without doubt 2009’s classiest, coolest and most engaging action thriller – a perfect storm of quality cast, attention to detail and stylish visual flair.

Depp is perfect in the lead role bringing the FBI’s most wanted man to believable life dripping with dangerous charisma and cool swagger. This is a guy who believes in himself, who isn’t afraid to take on the system – mostly through the liberal application of audacious bank robberies. Exciting gun fights, chases and heists ensue as the authorities do everything they can to try and contain him.

Christian ‘Terminator Salvation’ Bale plays FBI Agent Melvin Purvis, the man tasked by J. Edgar Hoover to bring Dillinger down and a wildcard in the mix here is vicious psycho ‘Baby Face Nelson’ (a convincingly unhinged Stephen Graham). Nelson doesn’t subscribe to Dillinger’s gentlemanly conduct in keeping his criminal activities to the liberation of money from major banks whilst keeping the body count to a minimum.
And the path of true robbery runs even less straight when Dillinger loses his head and his heart to Billie Frechette (Marion ‘La vie en Rose’ Cotillard).



Public Enemies is a fantastic film which rewards viewers with a captivating story, it’s hard not to find yourself rooting for the bank robbing pose as they repeatedly stick it to the man. The timing of the film couldn’t be better either with banks being at a potential all time low in the affections of most people.
Standing head and shoulders above the very average blockbusters we’ve had so far this summer, it is refreshing to find a film that you’ll want to think about afterwards and want to see again.
Director Mann has shown that he can deliver superb period action thrills to match his modern day classics Heat and Miami Vice. For me Public Enemies has crashed straight into my list of ‘best ever crime films’ to stand beside others like Goodfellas, The Godfather and Miller’s Crossing – denying yourself the chance to see this on the big screen would be a crime!

Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööööö (9 – Public Enemies will blow you away!)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 8
Style 9
Babes 7
Comedy 6
Horror 6
Spiritual Enlightenment 7

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Darkmatters does Blood the Last Vampire



Blood: The Last Vampire 2000 – anime (15)

Dir. Hiroyuki Kitakubo



Blood: The Last Vampire 2009 – ‘real skin’ (18)

Dir. Chris Nahon




Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“You Asshole! Don't ever piss her off again! As far as we know, she's the only remaining original!”

This is a quote from the anime version of Blood: The Last Vampire (which I have owned on DVD since it came out and thought it was time to give it a re-view as I caught the new live action version at the weekend)… The quote works as advice to Chris ‘Kiss of the Dragon’ Nahon too and fortunately he’s heeded the warning as his film is a great reworking / companion piece to the anime.



Basically in both films Blood: The Last Vampire tells the tale of Saya – half-human, half-demon, all schoolgirl. This ancient immortal (who still looks like a typical 15 year old due to unexplained lack of aging) is from a bloodline of demon / vampire hunters. Needless to say that Saya is the last of her kind – duh – the clue is in the title... Saya (Gianna Jun) is more than a Japanese jailbait ass kicker, she wields a magically enhanced sword which can cleave demon vampires right in two… and she wears a sailor girl uniform whilst killing lots of bad-ass-baddies.

Saya works for The Council – no, not Luton Borough Council (been there, done that) but a shadowy organisation that employs her to hunt demons. The new film is a period piece circa 1970 but the original anime seemed more present day – judging from the military hardware on display.
Another difference is that in the feature film there is a main story arc about an ancient demon known as ‘Onigen’ (Koyuki). Bothe film open with the same scene – a subway ‘hit’ where Saya takes out a vampire and gets questioned by her superiors because the perp looks just like a normal guy… But instead of being reprimanded, Saya is sent undercover to an American military airbase in Tokyo to investigate possible demon assisted deaths there.



Here the films diverge in that in the anime Saya saves a chubby teacher and fights monsters just on the base. In the new film Saya save teenage hottie Alice McKee - spoilt daughter of the base's commanding officer – who happens to be martial arts trained too, so in effect a much more agreeable sidekick.
Bill Kong, producer of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Hero worked on the 2009 adaptation of Blood: The Last Vampire and the fights are pleasingly stylish and brutal affairs even if all the blood that gets spilt is CGI – with an almost cartoony element to it.
This dodgy use of CGI in the new film is entirely at odds with the original anime which boasted some of the best computer generated artwork ever… (which was noted by James Cameron).

So how did I rate the two Blood: The Last Vampires?

Here you go:

Blood: The Last Vampire 2000 – anime (15)

Earns an arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööö (7 – great visuals and fun plot but only 45mins long!)


Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 7
Style 9
Babes 6
Comedy 4
Horror 7
Spiritual Enlightenment 3

Blood: The Last Vampire 2009 (18)

Earns an arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 – expanded on the original, just sit back and enjoy, don’t worry about the dodgy effects!)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 8
Style 8
Babes 8
Comedy 5
Horror 7
Spiritual Enlightenment 4


"Gianna Jun - in 'non vampire' alter ego"

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Darkmatters Review - Year One



Year One (12a)

Dir. Harold Ramis

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

ONE WORD SUMMATION: Weak-idol-offerings

Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to witness some comic tales from the bible’s Old Testament… The not so reverend Harold Ramis will conduct the lessons, mostly from Genesis, all of which feature two lesser known bible characters – Zed (Jack ‘Neverending Story III’ Black) and Oh (Michael ‘Juno’ Cera). These two loser primitives take low brow comedy to uncharted new unfunny depths, which is unforgivable given the potential Year One had to be a classic ‘prequel’ to Life of Brian.

As a bible reading Christian, I was amused at the depictions of the Old Testament characters – such as Adam (Ramis himself) and his sons Cain and Able - that original brotherly relationship that didn’t go so well. The sight seeing jaunt through Genesis also means we also get to meet Abraham (Hank Azaria), visit the infamous cities of Sodom and Gomorrah and witness the eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Some might be offended by the hit and miss fun being poked at the biblical characters, I was more offended by just how few laughs there were throughout. Year One limps along in a series of skits, resorting to toilet humour often when the script fails to be funny. Jack Black – who I’m sure used to be funny – plays his usual over the top persona which we’ve seen a million times now, whilst some credit must go to Michael Cera whose droll straight man act at least allows him to walk away from this car wreck with some dignity.
Love interests for the two heroes come in the shapely forms of Maya (June Diane Raphael) and Eema (Juno ‘Atonement’ Temple) but they are given little to do except be sold into slavery at every turn. The patchy supporting cast also includes ‘rent a hard man’ Vinnie Jones as Sodom ‘s head of security and a creepy High Priest (Oliver Platt) who takes a bit of an unhealthy shine to Oh.


"This is about as deep as Year One gets..."

There have been less funny ‘comedy’ films but I’m struggling to think of one this year, especially after The Hangover which was just excellent. On the strength of this Ramis should forget about ancient history and bring back Ghostbusters (he wrote the latest PS3 videogame version which is great fun and shows that he’s not completely lost his touch).
Alas, if you want a religious based laugh-a-thon then you’d be better served by The Da Vinci Code which is a comedy riot compared to Year One.

Not convinced? check out this mini review of the film over at FilmJerk.com:

"'Year One' is not quite the death of comedy, but it tries for a cartwheeling tone of irreverence and buffoonery that doesn’t quite fit in with today’s presentations of irony and sarcasm, and lacks the crisp, filling writing of yesteryear. There’s barely more than a few laughs during the entire film, but I suppose there should be some appreciation offered for even attempting an expansive giggle melee such as this. And then a character decides to eat a piece of poop. And then 'Year One' becomes an inexcusable misfire from a group of professionals who really should’ve known better.”

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööö (5 - patchy and weak despite great premise and cast)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 6
Style 6
Babes 6
Comedy 6
Horror 4
Spiritual Enlightenment -5

Darkmatters DVD Review - Ben X



Ben X (15)

Dir. Nic Balthazar

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

ONE WORD SUMMATION: Virtua-Rain-Teen

“Courage is everything.”

Want to play a game? Ever fancied being the strapping hero in a far off realm? Fighting for justice, saving the day and getting the girl… The opportunities are many if you sign up for games like Archlord but alas not always so easy in the real world – especially if you have Asperger syndrome - an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), and people with it therefore show significant difficulties in social interaction, along with stereotypes and other restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviour and interests…

Welcome to the world of Ben X, a debut feature developed by Nic Balthazar from his own novel. The titular ‘Ben’ (newcomer Greg Timmermans) is a young guy with problems – not only does he suffer from autism which makes him pretty much unable to function socially, Ben is also on the receiving end of some vicious bullying and feeling helpless to know what to do.

What he does is to become Ben X, a level 80 warrior in the online realm of Archlord which he plays every day – and through which he has developed his only ‘friend’ another player, a female healer babe character, who goes by the name of Scarlite (Laura Verlinden). In a surprising and fairly unbelievable plot twist, Scarlite in the real world isn’t a pervy 40 something year old nonce seeking jailbait on the web – no she’s a teenager who might just hold the path to salvation for tragic Ben. Ben X plays out well even whipping in some Sigur Ros soundtrack at the end.

This film also rips real emotion from the viewer with its clever interspersed interview footage of Ben’s parents, teachers and doctors. Plus superb game footage from Archlord which turns this into a pseudo fantasy film and amps up the watchability considerably for game fans. As someone who was bullied myself at school, I related to the real heartfelt authenticity at work in this film – and can only hope the muted American remake keeps this throughout.

So the plot builds to a palpable sense of dread, you just know that something bad is going to happen. And I’m not gonna spoil it for you as if you’re looking for an engaging and curious slice of teen angst from a different perspective… step up for Ben X.

Not convinced? check out this mini review of the film over at Screenjabber:

"Ben X is an audacious debut from writer/director Balthazar. Said to be based on a true story, it began life as a book, then a play and now it's being remade (again by Balthazar) for Hollywood. More an examination of bullying in school than of autism, it's an emotional rollercoaster ride that leaves the viewer quite drained.”

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 - you say it best, when you say nothing at all)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 6
Style 8
Babes 6
Comedy 4
Horror 6
Spiritual Enlightenment 5


"Is that a +10 powersword in you pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?"

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Alice In Wonderland - Tim Burton brings the madness...


'Mia Wasikowska - fresh from Defiance, enters the rabbit hole'

Alice In Wonderland - Tim Burton brings the madness...

New images from next year's Alice reworking are all over the net but they're so good I just had to share them here too...

Really excited about this one.


'Helena Bonham Carter does the Red Queen'



'Wonderland's guardians... Also known as Matt Lucas'



'Johnny Depp... the Manson of Mad Hatters'

Genius!!!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Darkmatters Review - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen



Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (12a)

Dir. Michael Bay

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (in Luton with my sons aged 8 & 12 - who loved this film big time)

ONE WORD SUMMATION: Stupid-o-smackdown-a-tron

Strap in for the biggest, loudest action overload of the summer… The heavy metal Transformers are back and this time the heroic Autobots have got to stop the evil Decepticons destroying our sun (the ball of gas not the newspaper).

You might be surprised if I told you that ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a subtle, gently nuanced film full of real human emotion and poignancy’ – actually I’d be surprised if I told you that too because nothing could be further from the truth.

Michael ‘Transformers and Bad Boys’ Bay subscribes to the film making ethos of ‘Let’s blow up as much as we can and make the destruction look as good as possible’… He also seems to have a bit of a military fetish going on – never before have so many G.I.’ s been made to look so macho and patriotic, nobody does military hardware silhouetted against sunsets or explosions quite as well as this chap… It almost made me want to sign up for a tour of duty

Also in a Bay film, every single character has to have ‘hot moment’ where the camera pans around them slowly as they look earnestly into the middle distance. In the case of returning love interest Michaela (supernova hot Megan Fox) or new evil love interest rival Alice (unfeasibly attractive Isabel Lucas) – that’s not actually such a bad thing.

The main stars here though are the robots – brought to shiny, intricate life once again by the genius special effects teams of Industrial Light and Magic (ILM). Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen really does up the ante as to just what is possible to achieve on screen. The humans led by Sam (Shia ‘new Indiana Jones’ LaBeouf) run around getting in the way of the metal marvels whose clashes are suitably epic. One thing though, the robots aren’t that bright – summed up when new Autobots ‘Skids and Mudflap’ explain that they can’t actually read…

There is a plot of sorts but it really doesn’t need explaining, all you really need to know in order to appreciate this film is that thinking about it will only spoil it. There may never be a bigger, stupider or better looking summer blockbuster on planet earth… Although given the colossal amount of cash this is likely to make, the chances are that this won’t be the last time we see Optimus Prime and pals strutting their CGI stuff on the big screen. Good news for action loving film goers as long as you can unplug your brain before witnessing it.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 - so wrong it's right!)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Action 8
Style 8
Babes 8
Comedy 6
Horror 4
Spiritual Enlightenment -2


Not convinced? check out this mini review of the film over at Tom Wade's Emporium of Man Love:

"Technoarmybabble talk scenes ‘Get the F17 to BRING THE RAIN in quadrant 17 of the T12’s white zero fly by in ZXA altitude…’ Am I boring you yet? Seriously, I’ve not left the cinema this angry for a long long time. Yes I know it’s a film about fighting robots blah blah blah – but that’s no excuse for self indulgent bloated work that my nephew could write in his sleep
No matter what I say you’ll either still go see it, or would have already seen it. if you’ve already witnessed it – I share your anger and pain. If you haven’ yet, go wonder into your local hospital and try and catch swine flu. I promise it’ll be time better spent.

And Matt Adcock – I know you loved this. But you’re wrong"

VOTE NOW: Megan Fox vs Isabel Lucas - whose the hottie champion of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen?



Now the 'evidence' for MIss Lucas:


You decide...



Read the Darkmatters review of the original Transformers HERE

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Punisher: War Zone

Be warned - The Punisher is being unleashed...

Punisher: War Zone is out to buy on Blu-ray, DVD and UMD Video on 22 June, 2009 from Sony Pictures Home Entertainment.

Adapted from the popular Marvel comic, former FBI agent turned vigilante The Punisher pulls no punches in this action-packed sequel starring hard man actor Ray Stevenson and British heart throb and star of TV’s “The Wire” Dominic West.

Click below to see what all the fuss is about:

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Darkmatters review - Terminator Salvation



Terminator Salvation (12)

Dir. McG (Charlie’s Angels etc).

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (in Luton with Mr Landsman on a wet Friday night)

ONE WORD SUMMATION: Machine-tooled!!

Read Darkmatters review of the Terminator Salvation Game

“I knew it. I knew it was coming. But this is not the future my mother warned me about. And in this future, I don't know if we can win this war. This is John Connor.”

Yes the human resistance of the near future finds itself in dire straits once again at the hands of those pesky computer controlled robots we know as ‘terminators’… The battle has changed, we’re now in 2018 – post the ‘judgement day’ nuclear strike and hero John Connor (now Christian ‘The Dark Knight’ Bale) is trying to live up to his ‘saviour of mankind’ prediction. Enemy computer system Skynet has given up trying to wipe out the last of the humans by sending terminators back in time, so it decides to win the war against us by going after the hero of the first film Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin) while he’s still a grumpy teen. There is of course an obligatory Terminator who thinks he’s human in the form of Marcus (Sam Worthington), he might just hold the key to mankind’s safety or extermination… Yawn…

The technology on offer in Terminator Salvation isn’t as advanced as in T2, so don’t go expecting any morphing liquid metal hi-jinks. The machines here are actually more Transformer like prototypes – here’s a house sized giant robot!? Ohh look out for the motorcycle shaped speeder terminators etc etc… This makes for a few ‘wow’ CGI battles but takes something away from the general motive of the series so far, which was always been about a battle of wits between advance human form terminators and Connor at one age or another.

Terminator Salvation does deliver lots of vacant wham bam action, but even this is low on actual death due to the family friendly age rating - which also means that the terminators now don’t include expletives in their list of possible responses. What is most sorely lacking though is any real sense of actual threat, you just know that there’s no way in which the machines will win this round because we’ve already met some of these characters in later life in earlier films… if you follow me?

Having said that this fourth Terminator film is more fun and generally more watchable than the lacklustre part three. I’ve no doubt that the terminators will “be back” for a further tale of man vs machine smack down but it’s probably too much to hope that they can reignite the excitement levels of the first two which are bona-fide classics.


"Moon Bloodgood... good looking for a resistance fighter"

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööö (6 - robots in disguise!?)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Action 8
Style 6
Babes 5
Comedy 5
Horror 7
Spiritual Enlightenment 3

Not convinced? check out this mini review of the film over at Tom Wade's Emporium of Man Love:

“Big explosions – bleak backdrop – meh storyline – Christian Bale doing the Batman voice and being a bit bland – seeing Arnold in CGI – lots of chases – directed by a man called McG – I can’t forgive him that."

Terminator Salvation Game Review PS3


Terminator Salvation
Played on PS3

Developer: Grin / Evolved Games
Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Read the Darkmatters review of Terminator Salvation (film) 

“Come with me if you want to live (press x)... Now shoot that robot (press R1)… Now come with me if you want to live (press x)… Now shoot that robot (press R1)…” repeat…

The Terminator has seen four major films, a TV series and lots of mediocre videogame adaptations… and now lumbering into view comes Terminator Salvation – the film based loosely around the latest of the films.

Now I’m a fan of the movies (even had some time for part 3) and I really liked the TV show… but I’ve also played most of the videogames so I knew not to get too excited in advance of this new one.

So with my expectations set to ‘it’s gonna suck ass’ I ventured into this post Judgment Day action game looking for terminator exterminating thrills…

Terminator Salvation doesn’t start well, you immediately feel that the game has been rushed out to hit at the same time as the film – and even then it stands out as weak compared to the heavy-duty quality title hitting the PS3 this year such as Killzone 2 or infamous… But after three fairly annoying and slogging levels something weird happened to me, I began to enjoy this for what it was - a repetitive and predictable ‘old school’ shooter.

Sure it’s as on rails as a freight train but there is a odd sense of satisfaction at beating some of the harder levels – and for trophy hunters out there, Terminator Salvation is an absolute gift… every one of the eight levels will give you GOLD TROPHY – and that actually makes it really worth a play through.

Graphically we’re not talking anything special here, staple ravaged city streets and blasted buildings, useful trashed cars and walls for the clunky cover system… The PS3 version supports 720p and some of the special effects look good, but this ain’t gonna win any awrds for pushing the boundaries.

Game play works ok as long as you’re not demanding of slickness or intolerant of unforgivable loading times (despite an install – WTF!?) – best if you have  a pal to co-op with as there are lots of moments when the computer buddy A.I. will leave you shouting at the screen to help you flank an annoying terminator or two…

There are only a limited number of enemy types, and each has a signature take down style, pick of the bunch must be the T600s who are hard as nails, I was kinda hoping for a T800 in there somewhere but so dice. Some of the new baddies from the movie are fun to battle like the transformer alike motorbikes which form one of the several vehicle chase / shoot levels.

My favourite level is where you get to control of another of the transformer knock off types – the giant Termigantinator stomper robot which allows you to put some smackdown on Skynet HQ. That and the lovely ‘ca-ching’ of another gold trophy popping up on the screen!

Darkmatters final rating of: öööööö (6 - if you wanna shoot Terminators on the PS3 this is your best bet) 

Darkmatters Review - The Book Thief



The Book Thief
Markus Zusak

Reviewed by Matt Adcock


“She leaned down and looked at his lifeless face and Liesel kissed her best friend, Rudy Steiner, soft and true on his lips. He tasted dusty and sweet. He tasted like the regret in the shadows of trees and in the glow of the anarchist’s suit collection. She kissed him long and soft, and when she pulled herself away, she touched his mouth with her fingers. Her hands were trembling, her lips were fleshy, and she leaned in once more, this time losing control and misjudging it. Their teeth collided on the demolished world of Himmel Street.” The Book Thief page 536

Sometimes you read a book that you know nothing about… When my eldest son was given a copy of The Book Thief he suggested I read it as he was already reading something. I liked the image on the cover of death dancing with a girl (the book thief herself as it turns out) so gave it a go.

This is a slow burn and build up of a novel which is worthy of your perseverance as by the end you’ll have been deeply moved, entertained and challenged by the tale of young Liesel, her adopted family, her friends and her experiences of the second world war in Nazi Germany.
The plight of the Jews in Germany at that dark time in history is interwoven with the coming of age tale of the titular book thief. The story is told by Death himself but this is no Terry Pratchett Discworld, here Death is a narrator who is detached enough to record our inhumanity and express his lack of understanding at why we humans act as we do,

The ponderous pace builds up a beautifully balanced and highly engaging narrative, Zusak uses clever devices such as mini previews of each chapter (which can not always be trusted).
Liesel who is the book thieving rascal of the title charts her relationships with her adoptive parents – hardship and survival go hand in hand – never more so than when the family hide Max (a Jew on the run) in their basement at great personal risk to themselves. The tangible sense of danger is expertly woven through the narrative, this really isn’t a happy tale and you can sense some form of tragedy on its way as the war escalates and the Allies start bombing Liesel’s town. Although, having said that there are some moments of pure joy that stand out all the more for the bleak backdrop against which they are experienced.

As with all great books, there are some unforgettable scenes such as when Liesel and her friend Rudy take bread and try to feed a line of Jew being marched through the streets to a concentration camp. Scenes like this blend seemlessly with Liesel's thieving escapades, her father's tours of duty and her mother's struggle to keep everything going... These are characters that you'll remember for some time.

The Book Thief is book which everyone should read – it is an unsettling and thought-provoking novel, buy beg or steal yourself a copy.


Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 - a compelling if slow moving modern day classic)

Film news - Fox 2000 has bought the rights to The Book Thief - it's status is 'in production'...


"I think Dakota Fanning would make a good Liesel - she's cheeky enough!"

Darkmatters review - The Hangover



The Hangover (15)

Dir. Todd Philips (Road Trip, Old School, Starsky & Hutch)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (in Luton with a packed house all having a good time)


One word summation: Testosteronelicious

Let’s get one thing straight right away – The Hangover is a blokes film, it’s not a romantic comedy, there’s no singing or dancing and it’s not for kids… We’re talking a pure overdose of puerile testosterone being delivered directly into the eyeballs, and it’s great!!
The plot is a Las Vegas-set ballsy dark comedy with the simple premise of three groomsmen who lose their about-to-be-wed buddy during their night of drunken misadventures. We join them in the mother of all ‘morning afters’ from where they must retrace their steps and try to work out quite what happened.
It doesn’t take long to realise that things must have got seriously out of hand – let’s look at the evidence… There is a ferocious tiger in their hotel suite bathroom, an abandoned baby in the wardrobe, one of the guys is missing a tooth and another has a hospital admittance tag on his arm…
The motley crew of heroes here are schoolteacher Phil (a charismatic Bradley ‘Wedding Crashers’ Cooper), hen-pecked dentist Stu (Ed ‘The Office – American version’ Helms) who are the groom’s best friends. Also along for the ride is new brother-in-law-to-be Alan (a comic genius turn from Zach ‘What Happens in Vega’ Galifianakis) as the dim-witted bearded oddball.
The missing groom Doug is played by the likable Justin ‘National Treasure’ Bartha and together these four adventure seeking chaps generate some excellent rapport.
The laughs come thick and fast, and range from the satisfyingly dark e.g. abduction and drugging, through the surreal – naked Chinese man attacks, to the superbly well observed ‘male condition’ problems. You’ll feel for poor Stu who is saddled with Melissa - possible the most obnoxious girlfriend in movie history aptly who’s evil attitude to men is summed up in this encounter when he’s trying to persuade her to let him go on the stag weekend:
Stu says: ‘My friends are really a lot more mature than you think,’ just as their car pulls up outside and Phil yells: ‘Paging Doctor Faggot! Paging Doctor Faggot!’ She retorts with venom: ‘You should probably go, Doctor Faggot.’
Okay, so it’s not high brow funnies but this is a comedy that steams along on a tidal wave of feel good macho-ness backed up with some fantastic and unforgettable set pieces.
Over the weekend these buddies forge deeper friendships through their various trials by fire and by the time the credits roll you’ll feel like they are your good pals too.
Other incidental highlights include Mike Tyson singing ‘In the Air Tonight’, Stu finding out that he married a hooker during the course of the night (a gorgeous Heather Graham as it goes) and some seriously amiss man style baby care.

"Heather Graham, would you marry her on the off chance in Vegas?"

Cinematic ribaldry hasn’t been done this well for a while, my advice is for men everywhere to experience The Hangover – no drinking required…

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 - man up lads, what happens in Vegas...)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Action 7
Style 7
Babes 7
Comedy 8
Horror 6
Spiritual Enlightenment 7 (for blokes)

Not convinced? check out this viewpoint over at Bina (be aware you'll be getting a female review) be sure to read the comments!:

“basically a rip-off of the Ashton Kutcher vehicle, "Dude, Where's My Car?". Except this time, the drunken idiots are a thirty-something bachelor party in Vegas..."

inFAMOUS




In the aftermath of an urban disaster, an everyday guy finds himself with extraordinary powers. What he does with them is up to you. This is inFamous... a superb new title for PLAYSTATION®3

If society collapsed tomorrow and you found yourself with unique powers that could either help people or hurt them, which would you do? That’s the question at the centre of inFamous, the exclusive PLAYSTATION®3 title from Sucker Punch Productions. The open-ended, free-roaming game puts you in the shoes of Cole McGrath, an everyday guy and urban explorer, in the aftermath of a huge disaster that destroys his hometown of Empire City. As Cole, you must first learn to use new found powers and then decide how you will use them.

After the explosion, Empire City falls into chaos and Cole must use his new powers and climbing agility. Along the way he will unravel an evolving mystery, experience fame and/or infamy and battle powerful, iconic villains. inFamous gives you the freedom to play how you want, whether that’s aggressively, tactically or stealthily (or indeed as a true-blue Hero (like Captain America/Superman/) or do you play as the Anti-hero guy (like Frank Miller’s Batman/Daredevil or Wolverine/ Punisher/Ghost Rider) who simply “gets things done” irrespective of the cost - be warned, however, that the city’s people and environment will react to what you do. Events will unfold based on the role you take in them and your actions will create broader reactions in the citizens and landscape around you.

Developed by Sucker Punch Productions, the studio who gave PlayStation the acclaimed Sly Cooper franchise, inFamous brings you a new type of superhero – an uncertain man with the weaknesses of a normal human being. What will you turn Cole into? The choice is yours when your inFamous!?

Darkmatters Review - Drag Me To Hell



Drag Me To Hell (15)

Dir. Sam Raimi (Evil Dead and Spiderman films, Darkman - man I love that film).

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (in Luton amongst a screaming Friday night crowd)

ONE WORD SUMMATION: Splatter!!

Meet Christine Brown, she has a good job as a loan arranger at a bank, a great supportive boyfriend, and a bright future. But in three days, she's going to hell – literally – and you’re invited along!
In this gleefully grim horror-comedy movie from Sam ‘Spiderman’ Raimi even nice people can go to hell. What I can assure you is that if you sign up for this movie, you’re in for one wild ride… Think ‘next generation Evil Dead’ and you’ll be in the right area for some serious scares and gruesome gags – spruced up with some effective special effects that are guaranteed to turn your stomach.

This is the not so happy tale of Christine (Alison ‘Beowulf’ Lohman) who wants to bag a promotion at work and is told that she needs to start proving she can make tough decisions. Step up one difficult customer, a Mrs. Ganush (Lorna ‘might have seen her in CSI on TV’ Raver) a down on her luck elderly gypsy who is in need of a loan extension. Christine denies Mrs. Ganush's mortgage which doesn’t go down well and results in the old woman placing a curse on Christine. This isn’t some petty fair ground curse either; we’re talking a heavy duty goat shaped demon on a mission to drag the cursed person’s soul to hell after tormenting them for three days. Bad times…

From the moment the curse is made, the film becomes a ticking time bomb of nervous tension punctuated by quality jump-out-of-your-seat moments, comic book violence – look out for that anvil!? and vomit inducing sights such as Mrs. Ganush gushing maggots mouth to mouth with Christine in one very disturbing dream sequence. Drag Me To Hell is pure horror film nirvana for anyone who hasn’t enjoyed the recent rash of torture obsessed fright flicks. This is old school shock and awe, cleverly ratchetting up the stakes as the demon (named Lamia) wreaks pain shaped mischief on Christine both physically and psychologically.

In desperation Christine turns to a mystic named Rham Jas (Dileep ‘soon to be in James Cameron’s Avatar’ Rao) who counsels various potential courses of action that might buy off the vengeful demon. This isn’t good news for Christine’s cute little kitten (animal sacrifice is just one of the ghoulish attempts to escape the titular dragging to hell)…

This trip is not for those of a nervous disposition but for anyone looking for a thrill-em-up scare fest that delivers as many laughs as shocks – Drag Me To Hell is potentially the horror comedy of the year. Let’s just hope Raimi can channel some of the invention he shows here into Spiderman 4…


"grave danger is fun to watch"

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööööö (9 - Evil Dead-lite 'more please')

Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Action 8
Style 7
Babes 7
Comedy 8
Horror 9
Spiritual Enlightenment 5

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at Empire Magazine:

“An extended scrap in Lohman’s car, it starts with a terrific twist on the ‘there’s someone in the back seat’ chestnut, before exploding into a relentless audio-visual onslaught punched through with Raimi’s pitch-black sense of humour, as Ganush loses her rotting dentures, and turns an intended bite into a slobbery, gruesome parody of a kiss."

Friday, May 29, 2009

Warhammer 40,000 to hit the PS3 - nice!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

12 Rounds Competition



Darkmatters 12 Rounds Competition...

From the director of “Die Hard 2” and the producer of “Speed” comes 12 ROUNDS, starring ex WWE wrestler John Cena as New Orleans Police Detective Danny Fisher. When Fisher stops a brilliant thief, Miles, from getting away with a multi-million-dollar heist, the thief’s girlfriend is accidentally killed. After escaping from prison, the criminal mastermind enacts his revenge, taunting Danny with a series of near-impossible puzzles and tasks …12 rounds…that Danny must somehow complete to save the life of his fiancée.

The film hits the UK this weekend - here's your chance to grab some excellent 12 Rounds swag thanks to the lovely people at Fox...

All you have to do is tell us: 'who would you most like to go 12 rounds with WWE style and why?'

Email your entry to darkmatters@another.com - The Editor will pick the top 3 answers and they will each get dog tags, t-shirt and cap... UK address entries only - comp closes in a two weeks so grab the goodies while you can.


'Is this the new Die Hard?'

Monday, May 25, 2009

Darkmatters review - Sacred 2 Fallen Angel



Sacred 2

PS3 (also available on PC and X360)

Developer: Ascaron Entertainment

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

There are some itches that can only be scratched with a massive battle sword… Sacred 2 is the a new hack n slash RPG which gives a great Diablo vibe – which basically means that if you like running around fighting all sorts of creatures, righting wrongs and saving the day, you’re in luck!
Here’s the drill: step up, create a character, choose a god to worship (well the game is called ‘Sacred’) and pick a path – light or dark. There are six character classes to choose from including the rather sexy Seraphim (see screenshot / artwork), a not so ‘Lord of the Rings knock off’ High Elf, generic Dryad, interesting part robo Temple Guardian, devious Shadow Warrior or evil incarnate Inquisitor. What you can’t do is customise them much other than hair colour / couple of clothing choices.

Sacred 2 is all about killing stuff, we’re talking thousands of enemies great and small – picking up the loot they drop, buying better equipment and generally levelling up like there’s no tomorrow… You shouldn’t worry too much about the plot – energy is being mischiefed, you have a massive list of quests – and hundreds of side quests too. It all boils along at a good rate, there’s never a dull moment…The gameplay world is huge, and you can spend hours just wandering about getting into fights even if not following the main quests. It’s highly addictive stuff for anyone whose ever enjoyed a some battle focused adventuring.

The various characters do play differently (and there are character specific trophies to be earned) so I found myself hard pressed to decide which to make my main character for a whole play through. Levelling up works well with good new skills to be tried out. Stat management sees you spreading the love between weapon skills, character attributes such as speed or health regeneration etc. Before long you’ll be a potent ass kicker – but then the joy is that there’s always something bigger and nastier waiting for you out there…

"does my bum look big in this angel armour?"

You can of course call upon your chosen god to deliver their smart weapon at various points – these are great ‘nuke’ or ‘super-heal’ style powers that can help in taking out bosses etc. There are useful things to spend your hard looted loot on too – character specific mounts can be purchased and serve to make you into a cavalry adventurer with better offensive capability.

The controls work really well – Sacred 2 makes use of clever triggers mapping various combinations, which stop the usual whinging about ‘why can’t we use ‘mouse and keyboard?’ There is some top multiplayer action to be had too (upgraded from the PC version of the game) and it is seamlessly integrated using the PlayStation Network. Even when playing with yourself ‘ahem’, there is an option to let other players drop in and out at will when you're online. I found that it wasn’t long before I was adventuring with mates both co-operatively and then in a spot of competitive play.

Graphically the PS3 version is a good looking game, yes there are occasional frame issues but Sacred 2 sets a new benchmark for the this style of game, easily trumping current competitors like Untold Legends. The enemies are nicely detailed and each type has a variety of looks – so you’re likely to be zooming in to check out the different appearances. And they are even blessed with some personality… In an absolutely genius move the creators have given their minions lines like ‘I knew it, I was just an extra’, even the dead have fun to offer on their gravestones – I noted the still open grave marked ‘for reviewers’!? Soundtrack wise we’re talking heavy thumping tunes from the likes of Blind Guardian.

At the moment there really isn’t anything to touch Sacred 2 for addictive chop-shoot-or-magic-em-up through many many hours of fantasy adventuring with or without pals… Bring it!!

Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 - if you like adventuring you need this game)


"angels in bikinis? well, they are fallen angels..."

Darkmatters review - Night at the Museum 2



Night at the Museum 2 (PG)

Dir. Shawn Levy - previous offences 'The Pink Panther', 'Night at the Museum'

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Is that you breathing? Because I can't hear myself think! There's too much going on here; you're asthmatic, you're a robot. And why the cape? Are we going to the opera? I don't think so...” This is the genius scene where the Dark Lord of Sith – Vader himself is confronted by wise cracking master villain, Egyptian pharaoh Kah Mun Rah (Hank ‘voice of Chief Wiggum in The Simpsons’ Azaria). It seems that Vader isn’t evil enough to join Rah’s band of superbaddies who plan to conquer the world (Ivan the Terrible, Al Capone and Napoleon do make the cut).

It sets the tone for this second instalment of the ‘museum exhibits come to life and amusingly cause chaos’ franchise and the good news is that it’s funnier and more watchable than the first.

Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) the hero guard from the New York’s Museum of Natural History in the first film is back to help his legendary exhibit pals who get brought back to life when moved to a bigger museum’s storage facility. No, the plot won’t win any prizes for originality but that doesn’t worry director Levy (amazingly turning out his second watchable film) who simply throws everything in his larger budget at the screen. What results is a good natured action packed comedy follow up that will blow kids away and tickle adult views in the right places.

New characters drafted in this time include Amelia Earhart (the lovely Amy Adams) who teams up to help Daley, plus an wonderfully camp General Custer (Bill Hader) who steals all his scenes. Returning for their pay cheques are Theodore Roosevelt (Robin Williams), mini cowboy Jedediah (Owen Wilson), Roman legionnaire Octavius (Steve Coogan) and the rather redundant Dr. McPhee (Ricky Gervais).


"Amy Adams... tightest trousers in the West"

I laughed loudest at the excellent hilarious cameo Jonah ‘Superbad’ Hill who sets new standards in jobsworthness but the funnies keep coming at regular intervals so you’re unlikely to leave without having been amused.

Night at the Museum 2’s main attraction for kids will the large scale devastation – brought to life with some seriously impressive special effects. A massive octopus and the obligatory returning dinosaur skeleton are good value but there are also some surprisingly well judged moments like a dip into Robert Doisneau’s famous French photograph “Le Baiser de l’Hotel de Ville, Paris” which strives to add a touch of culture to the madcap proceedings.

In the end it all boils down to seeing if the oddball bunch of goodies can overcome the evil Pharaoh and save the world? Only by taking another trip to the museum will you find out…


Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööö (7 - history exhibits a strong comedy character)


Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Action 7
Style 7
Babes 6
Comedy 8
Horror 6
Spiritual Enlightenment 6

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at Little White Lies:
“'History history, learning learning,' sighs museum director McPhee (Ricky Gervais) with a withering contempt that reflects rather precisely this film’s attitude towards both genuine education, and the sort of flashy multimedia spectacle (NATM2 included) that has become education’s substitute. For this is a scattergun trawl through human (albeit mostly American) history and culture, with the emphasis more on entertainment than instruction. Still, if at has few actual insights to offer into the complexities of the past, at least it serves for the young viewer as a primer in postmodernism.”

Monday, May 18, 2009

Darkmatters Review - Tokyo!



Tokyo! (15)

Dir(s). Michel Gondry, Leos Carax and Joon-ho Bong

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Ahhh - so… Velcome to Japan… A place of the fantastic, where three oddball fairy tale twisted fantasies merge to create an entertaining film broken across three parts…Michael Gondry delivers an adaption of a comic book by Gabrielle Bell called Cecil & Jordan in NewYork or ‘Interior Design’ as it is called here. After the misstep of Be Kind Rewind, Gondry is back into his head messing stride with a tale about a couple in Tokyo looking to buy their own place. Whilst the guy goes about getting funding for his nutty film project meeting the great and the good, his girlfriend takes on the apartment hunting but feels left out. And in body-horror style she begins to transform into a chair.
This opening sets a nice pace which then ramps up with the second tale called Merde. Director Leos Carax delivers the stand out of the three Tokyo! Tales – where a strange, red haired man goes on a mental rampage through the city. Licking, flicking cigarettes at babies and generally causing havoc. This crazy guy lives in the sewers and it isn’t long before his playful mischief has a bodycount as on one of this forays through downtown Tokyo he brings a load of hand grenades – cue random death a go go...Finally is the weakest of the three tales called Shaking Tokyo – directed by Joon-ho ‘The Host’ Bong. This is a romance of a sort where a guy who likes to stay indoors develops a crush on a pizza delivery girl. The path of love however does not run smoothly because she likes his hermit like way of life so much that she shots herself away too. Will the man venture outside to find the girl he fancies?
"Tom Wade looked perturbed on his way to work"

Tokyo! is thought provoking and engaging throughout, certainly worth checking out if you’ve a taste for something a little more weird than you’re average viewing. Three highly creative directors deliver excellent value as you get to experience surrealism, horror and love all in quick succession.

Enjoy!

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 - noodles for the brain)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Action 7
Style 7
Babes 6
Comedy 8
Horror 6
Spiritual Enlightenment 6
Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at Spout Blog whose Lauren Wissot says:
“the camera moving at typical Gondry speed, from fast motion overhead shots to slow pans, like a fractured subconscious. In the process the self-involved Akira (who pitches concepts to his girlfriend in lieu of engaging in conversation) watches his film career take off after he screens his Metropolis-like feature at a porn house, while the unsure Hiroko (played by Ayako Fujitani who happens to be the daughter of Steven Seagal) struggles to find her own identity..”

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Darkmatter Review - Angels & Demons



Angels & Demons (12a)

Dir. Ron Howard

Cast member most worth watching: Ayelet Zurer

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (in Stevenage on wet windy Friday night)

Reader I urge you to take heed of the ancient legend hidden in Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code prequel Angels & Demons (now reworked to be a cash-in sequel film)… It states simply ‘So dull the Ron of Ham’, I asked a learned professor friend what this could mean and the results were devastating. In simple terms it apparently refers to cinematic return of Ron ‘Far and Away’ Howard with a film so bloated, turgid and mind achingly average that it has awoken the attentions of a secret underground cult known as the Cinluminati. Their members are fiendish visual thrill seekers who stand up for exciting cinema and are willing to unleash unspeakable reprisals on perpetrators of lame big screen ‘blockbusters’.

Step up Angels & Demons, another ‘excitement-lite’ plodathon which sees Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks – whose charisma is missing in action as per The Da Vinci Code) stumbling around Vatican City trying to foil a bombing. Sure it all looks good enough with an impressive fully CGI large scale Vatican set, nicely shot famous Roman landmarks and even a inside tour of the infamous Large Hadron Collider machine. But somehow what could have been an engaging thriller, manages to fumble its interesting ‘plot to kill the Pope and his most likely replacements’, leaving viewers yawning.

Ewan McGregor adds to the distinct whiff of cheese in the proceedings by hamming it up as Camerlengo Patrick McKenna – a devout priest who has helicopter piloting and stunt parachuting skills – hhmm, d’you think they might come in somewhere?
Hanks’ Langdon is accompanied through this misadventure by anti-matter scientist Vittoria (Ayelet ‘Vantage Point’ Zurer), who takes the thankless sidekick role of asking questions that require masses of mumbo jumbo exposition at every turn.

Alas there’s only so much watching of clue solving that a mere mortal can stand and Angels & Demons exceeds the recommended safe levels by some margin. If contemplating seeing this you might want to put in a spot of training – maybe try watching a smug looking stranger doing a Sudoku or something?


"The 'batman leaping through the flames' church fundraiser stunt went a bit wrong"

You can’t really blame the film makers for knocking this ‘Brown stuff’ out though because stupidly large numbers of people will probably turn up see if Angels & Demons is any better than The Da Vinci Code. The fact that it is only a marginally more engaging waste of over two hours leaves you wondering if cinema’s least exciting action hero might return for a third outing – heaven help us all.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööö (4 - plodding stuff)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Action 5
Style 7
Babes 5
Comedy 8 (most of it unintentional)
Horror 6
Spiritual Enlightenment -4

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at The Telegraph whose Tim Robey says:
“Hanks remains chipper to the point of blasé here, but the various suspenseful pickles he gets himself into don't confer much dignity on the character. In one sequence, trapped without oxygen in an airtight archive chamber, he must climb a shelf of clue-packed manuscripts and awkwardly topple it using his body weight.”

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Darkmatter - Martyrs Review - 'supergrim'



Martyrs (18)

Dir. Pascal Laugier

Cast member most worth watching: Morjana Alaoui

Reviewed by Matt Adcock (at home with the lights down low)

Some things are simply too awful, too shocking and too disturbing for general consumption… Viewing experiences deemed ‘dangerous’ that are just too extreme for the mainstream, for the ‘decent’ Daily Mail reading Middle England or for those who don’t have the capacity to withstand an assault on the senses that engages on a deeper lever than dim ‘video nasty’ Friday night thrills.
There are few films that warrant such caution – but Martyrs is one - read on only if you are curious to hear a report back from the darkest, wildest side of cinematic experience.

Martyrs is quite possibly the nastiest, most seriously horrifying film you’ll ever witness.

When a little girl is found wandering by the side of the road, her wasted body showing signs of severe neglect, starvation and torture she claims not to remember what happened to her whilst kidnapped and held prisoner for over a year.
But young Lucie is a survivor and during her following years in an orphanage she survives by employing both violent antisocial behavior but is also terrified by haunting and deeply disturbing paranoid delusions. Despite this she forms a friendship with another girl named Anna, who supports her – together they form a suitably unstable alliance.

Some years later, the two girls (now in their 20’s) turn up unannounced at a family home and proceed to graphically slaughter the entire family. Lucie is convinced that this seemingly normal suburban people are the monsters who took her prisoner and only a dose from the business end of a double barrel shotgun will see justice restored.


"things don't start well and only get worse from here..."

So far, so grim but still just a standard revenge horror thriller… These events however are only the prologue – the starter of a three course banquet of mind bending blunt force trauma that starts from grissly cold-blooded murder and accelerates into twisted sadistic nightmare territory beyond the bounds of taste and decency. I won’t go into the plot anymore as its better that it takes you unawares – everything is well shot and if Laugier does get his rumoured shot at remaking Hellraiser – it could turn out to the best horror film ever!?

But despite the abject gruesomeness perpetrated on screen here, this isn’t a simple shock-em-up like Hostel or Cabin Fever, Martyrs outpaces even the recent nou-wave of Euro horrors such as Haute Tension, Satan, Frontiers or Calvaire. At the sickened heart of this tale is a treatise about martyrdom, not a celebration of voyeuristic suffering but a descent through excruciation to a place of zen-like rapture. “Martyr” is apparently derived from the Greek word for ‘witness’… witnessing this absolutely isn’t for many though… If you read this blog much you’ll know that I’m not easily shocked but I found parts of this merciless escalation of torment almost physically painful to watch. Credit is due to the cast – Anna (Morjana Alaoui) is gorgeous even whilst undergoing all sorts of beyond the pail nightmare situations.

This is a tour-de-force that grips like a vice of vicious endorphin enlaced spikes – you won’t know where to look, you’ll be challenged and freaked out but you won’t forget it (ever)…

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 - supergrim)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 8
Style 8
Babes 7
Comedy 4
Horror 10
Spiritual Enlightenment -8 or +8 (depends on who you are)

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at The Horror Club which says:

“Pascal Laugier did something bold and daring, and pulled it off extremely well. Some will truly love this film, some will absolutely downright hate it, and others will not know what the hell just happened to them... whichever way you feel though, it's a movie that deserves to be seen.”

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Darkmatters Review - Star Trek



Star Trek (12a)

Dir. JJ Abrams

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Whilst watching JJ ‘Lost’ Abrams’ reinvigoration of Star Trek, I felt a great disturbance in the Force… That’s because for me good sci-fi beginning with ‘Star’ should end in ‘Wars’ not ‘Trek’, so I’ve never had much time for the intergalactic Trekking of Kirk et al but I approached this with an open mind after having been impressed by the trailer. Two hours later my expectations had been set to ‘stunned’… This is Trek Jim, but not as we know it – we’re talking crowd pleasing action packed blockbuster of the highest order. It’s highly accessible; you won’t need a degree in Klingon or even require a working knowledge of the TV series (although there are lots of fan pleasing nods to the originals).


Abrams’ new Star Trek details the early years of one day legendary Captain James T Kirk (an engaging Chris Pine who has come a long way from tat like The Princess Diary 2). It turns out that Kirk was a rebel even as a youngster, his maverick credentials underlined by a great scene of him burning along in a stolen classic car to the thumping soundtrack of Beastie Boys’ Sabotage. Also on hand is the pointy eared Vulcan Spock (Zachary ‘Sylar from Heroes’ Quinto) who begins his long term friendship with Kirk by making his life hell.
The young cast are uniformly watchable, Zoe Saldana is a sizzling Uhura, Anton Yelchin’s Chekhov is genuinely funny, and Simon Pegg‘s Scotty is pure genius. Karl Urban's Dr ‘Bones’ McCoy walks a fine line of parody but the original Spock, Leonard Nimoy turns up and forms a great link between all that has gone before with an excellent extended cameo.

You can almost feel the tangible fun that the filmmakers had reinvigorating this franchise which had dropped to an all time low with the last film Star Trek X: Nemesis. Fist-fights, shoot-outs, daring do and even an obligatory green skinned alien temptress make this light speed ahead of the stodgy Star Wars prequels. Abrams has kept all the best stuff from before - warp drives, phasers, teleporting and even the classic Enterprise spaceship design, so fans of the original have little to complain about. This is quality that can stand toe-to-toe with the likes of the superb and much lauded recent Battlestar Galactica TV remake.
So if you only watch one sci-fi space epic this year, you should have no fear in boldly going where no ‘Trekkie’ has gone before… To mix metaphors, ‘The force is strong in this one.’
Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööööö (9 - ENGAGE, Make It So etc...)
Darkmatters quick reference guide:
Action 8
Style 8
Babes 6
Comedy 7
Spiritual Enlightenment 8
Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at Black Sheep Reviews
- best line:" Suffice it to say, it is intricate and tight and a lot more fun not to know where anything is going at any point in time. It is such a smooth ride that you can just sit back and enjoy the comfortable warp cruising speed."

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

VOTE for your top game (Killzone 2 perhaps) in the Golden Joysticks!?


"Amber Heard says 'vote Killzone 2'..."*








Gamers... It's time to vote!



Click this link - and tell the world what you've been playing:
http://www.computerandvideogames.com/joystick/vote.php


I'm currently addicted to Far Cry 2, Killzone 2 and Resident Evil 5...






*not really, I think she might be more of a Valkyria Chronicles babe...

More Amber Heard loveliness CLICK HERE

Monday, May 04, 2009

Darkmatters Review - Is Anybody There?


Is Anybody There? (12a)

Dir. John Crowley

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

You might not expect a Brit feel good comedy to be shot through with darkness and hard issues such as dealing with dementia but Is Anybody There? does this effectively and delivers a spellbinding cinematic experience that is not to be missed.

Sir Michael Caine is on top form as Clarence - a retired magician (equally effective but a million miles away from his role in The Dark Knight). As my good friend Chris Curtis said when he saw it "Caine is clearly relishing this role, and rightly so".

The film is the tale of Edward, a young boy played by(Bill 'Son of Rambow' Milner), who lives with his Mum (the excellent Anne-Marie Duff) and Dad (Daivd Morrissey having a ball with pikey '80s fashion and a convincingly cringeworthy mid life crisis falling for 18-year-old Tanya - Linzey Cocker) in the care home they run.

Little Eddy is an unhappy chap, billy no-mates at school, unnerved by his parents struggles to make ends meet and morbidly curious with the death (so much so that he hides cassette recorders in the bedrooms of the elderly residents in order to try and catch the sound of their ghosts leaving when the die!).

Edward's life changed when he meets Clarence (Sir Michael Caine) who comes reluctantly to live at the care home, causing a stir with his maverick attitude. What follows is a heartwarming / breaking tale of friendship.


"Here's to the house I bought with the proceeds from Jaws 4"

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 - Incredibly watchable and emotionally charged)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 6

Style 8

Babes 6

Comedy 7

Spiritual Enlightenment 7

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at FilmStalker - best line:


"The more complex and real characterisation of Clarence was well written and wonderfully acted by Michael Caine. This should be a performance that he should be proud of and can really rank highly with his best performances of his career."

"Linzey Cocker (right) - cute home wrecker in Is Anybody There?"

Matt Adcock meets Sir Michael Caine



Darkmatters Interview:

Matt Adcock meets Sir Michael Caine

Is Anybody There?’ – Sir Michael Caine’s new movie, explores issues such as dementia, courage and intergenerational friendship. Caine plays a cantankerous retired magician whose mischievous nature brings a wave of hope through an old people’s home where he meets Edward (Bill Milner from Son of Rambow etc).

Matt: ‘So how did you first get involved with Is Anybody There?’

Sir Michael Caine: I knew that John Crowley was a well-known theatre director in Ireland, although I'd never seen any of his productions. But then I saw two movies of his, and he had an incredible cinematic eye. I thought: "Here's a twin - here's a director that can direct actors and knows where to put a camera." It's wonderful because you rarely get the two. That's one reason, the other is that producer David Heyman, who is an old friend of mine, gave me the script. I've read many scripts that have made me laugh, and this one made me laugh as well, but I'd never read a script before that made me cry. So that's why I did it.

Matt: I read that you had a friend who suffered from dementia and sadly died. This must have been a film that was very close to your heart then?

Sir Michael Caine: I obviously brought a lot of experience of how it was to suffer from dementia because Dougie was one of my closest friends and he died while we were making the film. I hadn't really thought of it because it's not a film about a guy with dementia. It's just a film about an old magician and a little boy. So I didn't think about it honestly until I really came to the moment and then it struck me. For four or five years I was just waiting to walk in and for Dougie to ask me who I was. And one day he did. So that's as accurate a portrayal of dementia as I could do with my talent from extreme close-up experience.

Matt: How did you prepare for the role?

Sir Michael Caine: The first thing I did was to remember back to when I did little parties for my daughters. We always had a conjurer and I noticed that his hair was always parted in the middle. So the first thing I did was to part my hair in the middle. Then I met Scott Penrose, who was our real conjurer, and who taught us some tricks, and his hair was parted in the middle. I thought to myself: "I haven't even started and I've got something right!" He said to me: "Do you know why we do that? Houdini parted his hair in the middle and we are all fans of Houdini." So that's how I prepared - I started by parting my hair in the middle and wound up in tears just thinking about my friend who died of dementia.

Matt: Did you enjoy the cantankerous nature of your character?

Sir Michael Caine: I did. I've never done a really old guy like that. I'd put him at about age 84 and I've known a few old guys like that in my time.

Matt: Clarence, your character, learns some valuable life lessons from young Edward. Did you end up learning any lessons from Bill Milner?

Sir Michael Caine: I learned a most invaluable lesson inasmuch as unlike all other child actors I could absolutely trust him to be there as though I was acting with an adult actor, which was an incredible thing to know.

Matt: How was working with the older cast members?

Sir Michael Caine: There were all these old actors who'd made millions of films and such was my experience in my early acting days, I'd never been in any of them. I never got a part in British films for ages and ages. So I knew them from the screen as a fan and had that attitude. I was most impressed, though, working with Anne-Marie Duff. She's playing this little bit dowdy keeper of an old folks' home, and at the time I didn't know of her theatrical past. And suddenly I read in the Evening Standard that she's been awarded best actress for Joan of Arc at the National and my whole attitude towards her changed... I mean off-set, of course. But she's such a wonderful actress because when you think she can do that and then play this woman in our film, it's quite extraordinary.

Matt: Why do you think the population seems to be getting so disconnected and disrespectful of the older generation?

Sir Michael Caine: In my opinion, everybody is getting older and older. We have a great deal of dementia because [in the past] nobody grew old enough to get it, if you see what I mean. Someone said to me the other day: "Well, you're eventually going to live until 110." And I said: "Well, who's going to keep me? What age do I retire? 100?" How are you going to live all those years and who is going to keep you doing it? I have a couple of grandchildren now so I'm banking on them.

Matt: Edward is a little boy with an obsession. As a young boy what was your obsession?

Sir Michael Caine: Funnily enough, my obsession was cinema. From the age of three we used to have the thrupenny rush on a Saturday morning, because there was no television. It was only kids and I was taken there by two older boys when I was three. The Lone Ranger came on and that's what I wanted to be - from them on I wanted to be a movie actor; not necessarily The Lone Ranger. But it didn't start quite like that. The film came on and everything went black and I suddenly realised that someone had thrown an overcoat from the balcony and it had gone straight over my head [laughs]. I'd never been to the cinema before, so I didn't quite know what was going on. Then there were punch-ups, and then I put my feet on the back of the row in front and pushed, and the row I was in went over backwards because the boys had taken the screws out of the floor! That was my first experience of motion pictures - rather frazzled - and it has remained like that ever since!

Matt: Taking the name of the film, do you think that there ‘is there anybody there’ in the after-life?

Sir Michael Caine: I'd dearly love to think that there is somebody there and I have a lot of back-up because my father was a Catholic, my mother was a Protestant, I was educated by Jews and now I'm married to a Muslim, so I won't lose out on a technicality.

Matt: If it happened one day, how do you think you'd fare in a retirement home like the one depicted in the film?

Sir Michael Caine: I'd probably own it.

Matt: Finally, when you do make the big leap into the blue yonder what do you want written on your stone?

Sir Michael Caine: See you later, no hurry!


Matt: Thanks for your time – it’s a great film.

Read Darkmatters review here

Friday, May 01, 2009

Darkmatters Review - X-Men Origins: Wolverine



X-Men Origins: Wolverine (12a)

Dir. Gavin Hood (Tsotsi, Rendition)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

My name is Logan but most people call me ‘Wolverine’, I have regenerative healing powers, animal strength / senses and some lethal retractable claws in my hands … This is the story of my pre X-men days and I'm coming for blood, no code of conduct, no law!

Erm, actually I’ve been asked to keep the rating of my film to a family friendly level so when I say ‘I’m coming for blood’, it might be more accurate to say ‘I’m coming to fight and you won’t see any blood’.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is the much hyped prequel to the X-Men movie and it strives to tell us everything you might want to know about the charismatic, hairy and sharp clawed Wolverine (nicely reprised role by Hugh Jackman). If you’re an X-Fan, chances are that you’ll lap up the back story into the relationship between Wolverine and his nastier brother Victor ‘Sabretooth’ Creed (Liev Schreiber).

Director Gavin ‘Tsotsi’ Hood follows in the X-Format successfully established first by Bryan Singer with X-Men and X2 and then not quite as well by Brett Ratner with X-Men: The Last Stand. There’s plenty of mutant super-powered action, some of which is completely cool – witnessing Wolverine taking on a military attack helicopter and two hummers is the stand out scene.

"You get the point?"

X-Fanboys are well catered using the ‘Weapon X’ storyline from the comics to introduce numerous mutants, many of whom you’ll already know if you’ve seen the later films. This is both a blessing and a curse because it allows you to play ‘spot who’s going to make it to the end credits’ as new characters who aren’t in the other X-Men films are much less likely to survive.
My pick of the new heroes however is magical card throwing ‘Gambit’ (Taylor Kitsch), he’d be a prime candidate for another X-Men: Origins movie, although word is that baddie Magneto is up next in the queue.

Unfortunately, X-Men Origins: Wolverine struggles to maintain excitement levels throughout, and whilst the action scenes are generally good stuff, the filler exposition between them clogs up the running time and is unlikely to win any new X-converts.

As a fan of comic book movies, I certainly enjoyed Wolverine’s tale but when the sight of Wolverine and Sabretooth fighting together to defeat the ‘Sylar from Heroes’ alike Weapon XI in the finale leaves you a bit cold, you know that this is a bit of a missed opportunity.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööö (7 - Not as cool as it should have been)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 8
Style 6
Babes 6
Comedy 5
Spiritual Enlightenment 4

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at ScreenJabber - best line:

"I can already hear the hardcore comic-book fanboys bitching and moaning, complaining about such-and-such character being underused and not given enough screen time. Well, you know what? Boo-f**king-hoo. "

Monday, April 27, 2009

Uncharted 2 on PS3 - redefining multiplayer superbness!?


"Your riot shields won't save you..."

Uncharted 2: Amongst Thieves

I'm feeling this - Uncharted was one of my favourite games of last year (the rest of my top 10 in case you wondering: Motorstorm, GTA4, Battlefield Bad Company, Oblivion, Uncharted, Metal Gear Solid 4, Wipeout HD, Heavenly Sword, Fallout 3, Tiger Woods PGA Tour '09)...

The sequel this year is looking like a potential game of the year contender - especially with the new multiplayer modes revealed - just look at these screenshots (borrowed from the excellent sixthaxis).


"The streets of Luton were ablaze..."


"Seems like 'your mum' is an Uncharted 2 player!?"

The deathmatch mode in these screens show 4 vs 4 game modes... Deathmatching, Capture The Treasure - bring it!!

Darkmatters Review - The Uninvited




The Uninvited (15)

Dir. The Guard Brothers

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

The Uninvited is a spook-em-up U.S. remake of the creepy 2003 Korean horror ‘A Tale Of Two Sisters’. Glossy, sexy and blessed with some seriously unnerving moments this is basically a perfect Friday night fright-fest for those who aren’t looking for anything too groundbreaking.

Directing team Charles and Thomas Guard (who called themselves ‘The Guard Brothers’) go for a fairly straightforward ghost story that telling the tale of an evil stepmother vs cute teen stepdaughters. So we have Anna (Emily ‘Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events’ Browning) who returns home to find out that her dubious writer father (David Strathairn) has shacked up with her deceased mother's nurse Rachael (Elizabeth ‘Role Models’ Banks).

Anna and her hot-to-trot sister Alex (Arielle ‘The Grudge 2’ Kebbel), who packs a bitchy teenage attitude and seems to wear a bikini throughout the entire film, become convinced that Rachael did away with their invalid mum. This charge seems to be backed up by the creeping dread that seeps through their New England home, where ghostly children pop up to scare viewers / warn the sisters that they are next on the target list for the chop. Will the girls outwit their blonde Hannibal Lecture like stepmother or will the body count rise by two before the obligatory chilling twist climax?

"if we sit here looking cute - surely no harm can come to us!?"

Did I mention there are some decent jolt-scare moments along the way? Although they are generally telegraphed from a mile away, the audience I saw this with were shrieking and jumping impressively enough. Banks does a great crocodile smile and plays the evil stepmother well, whilst Kebbel and Browning are both good as the nervous siblings. It’s Emily Browning who is the main attraction here - she’s a pouting powerhouse of emotion and I think she’s destined for great things, look out for her in Sucker Punch next year (from the director of 300 and Watchmen).

There’s nothing very wrong here, but as a remake The Uninvited isn’t a patch on the original. If taken on its own merits it has more to offer than many recent horror efforts so it’s worth a look if you’ve got the hankering for some spookiness. However, after seeing a truly superb horror film like ‘Let The Right One In’, The Uninvited seems like an overly workmanlike effort.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööö (6 - Dumbed down but watchable)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 6
Style 7
Babes 8
Comedy 4
Spiritual Enlightenment 2

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at IGN- best line:"The Uninvited comes incredibly close to greatness, just narrowly missing a diabolically genius Hitchcock-like plot twist by inches, opting for a stale twist instead. But in between that distance is a world of hurt. "

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Darkmatters Review - Gossip Girl Series 2



Gossip Girl Series 2, part 1 (DVD Set)

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

"Gossip erm ‘Girl’ here - your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell. You know you love me. xoxo, Gossip Girl"
That voice over running is a warning… A warning that you’re about to witness the most addictive (and fastest growing) series on TV. When sent the second series of Gossip Girl to review – I have to confess two things: 1. I have never watched any of series one and didn’t even know anything about the show and 2. I immediately thought ‘this is going to be girly tosh of the highest order’ – then I watched it. Whilst confessing here, I can also say that I fully intended to just watch the first episode and let loose my damning appraisal on the back of that limited exposure. But then I watched it and now after watching the entire first half of series 2 in an eye melting 12 episode-a-thon I’m the show’s biggest fan!

Think ‘The O.C.’ on sexy drugs, with better characters, sexier babes (Leighton Meester and Kristen Bell are nuclear hotties) and the guys aren’t bad either!?
Okay, so following what I’ve been reliably told (by my new Gossip Girl pals) was a devastating finale to Season 1 where Serena Van Der Woodsen (Blake Lively) and Dan Humphrey (Badgley), ended their season long relationship – now things hot up even more.

"Mmmmmmmm..."

If you want quality drama, sex partner swapping, scandal and rampantly awkward love triangles played out with teenagers then run, don’t walk to your nearest DVD retailer and grab Season 1 and this stellar follow up first 12 eps of Season 2.

As a parent of a wannabe teenager (he’s 12) I think Gossip Girl has also given be some invaluable insight into drug problems, abandonment, bulimia, self-esteem issues etc. So it’s not all just watching hot young people making out – honestly!?

Here’s some plot tasters - Blair (Meester) returns from her summer trip to Europe with a charming new boyfriend, named James (Patrick Heusinger), and it turns out he’s like a total English Lord!? Meanwhile Serena is still struggling to get over her breakup with Dan takes a liking to a young lifeguard. Meanwhile, Nate gets involved in a steamy relationship with an older woman, named Catherine whom is married.= and Rufus is still on tour with his band… You get the idea.

Gossip Girl is the perfect storm of cute cast, sexy behaviour and serious bitching – wrapped around the lifestyles of the rich and soon to be famous. Highly recommended viewing, just don’t be too surprised if you get utterly addicted – gotta go and track down the latest episodes now!





"Kristen Bell... yummy yes!?"

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööööö (9 - trashy and superb in equal measure)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 6
Style 9
Babes 8
Comedy 7
Spiritual Enlightenment 5

Friday, April 24, 2009

Become The Joker - exclusive to PS3 this Summer


"Both were good, but wait till you see Matt 'being the Joker' online this year!"


"This is what we want... PlayStation Home breaking exclusive news!"

If you're a Batman fan, chances are you'll want to be picking up the excellent looking Arkham Asylum game that hits in a couple of months.

Today some very cool news broke in Home... If you want to 'be' The Joker - you'll have to choose the PlayStation 3 version of the game - I'm sold!!

Arkham Asylum was one of my favourite Batman graphic novels so I can see this game getting lots of play when it releases - see you online (cleric20).


"Why so serious? Oh, you have an Xbox 360?"

Read more about this over at the awesome PS3Attitude

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Darkmatters Review - FEAST



FEAST (18)

Dir. John Gulager

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Remember that Project Greenlight thing where Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Chris Moore helped produce new flicks... Well Feast is from the third season of that project - and it's a gleefully splatter-em-up monster movie.

Feast is rampantly gory and yet also very tongue-in-cheek. It also boasts one of my all time favourite sequences where it introduces each character with cheeky freeze-frame portrait listing out their Name, Occupation, A Fun Fact and a guide to their expected Life Expectancy... see below


"Worth seeing just for these character intros... will certainly borrow this for Darkmatters: The Movie one day!"

Feast's plot is a simple one - a group of strangers find themselves in a middle-of-nowhere bar, a guys stumbles in - 'Hero' (Eric Dane), who tells that there are monsters from hell on their way... There are and the monsters eat most of the cast.
It's played out heavy on the gore and the funnies, think Aliens meets The Evil Dead 2 and you'll get the idea.

Henry Rollins is funny as a motivational speaker prone to spewing self-help platitudes but this is a B-movie through and through - and should only be watched by those looking for a dumb, horror to go with their beer on a Friday night.

Planning to watch this with the family? Guess again - let's look at the info from 'Kids In Mind .com' who watch nasty FUBAR films and then describe all the most grim aspects in detail on their website so that squeamish folks can avoid such nastiness e.g.: "A creature pulls an animal skull off its head (it was wearing it as a mask) and we see its many very sharp teeth, and it roars and snaps."

They also count all the Profanity in the film - 67 F-words and its derivatives, 5 sexual references, 36 scatological terms, 13 anatomical terms, 11 mild obscenities, 1 derogatory term for homosexuals, 1 derogatory term for the physically challenged, name-calling (stupid), 13 religious profanities, 11 religious exclamations.

You have been warned...


"Tuffy (Krista Allen) - is on the menu"

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööö (7 - almost classic B-Movie monster carnage overload)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 7
Style 7
Babes 7
Comedy 6
Spiritual Enlightenment -2

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at Dr Gore

- best line:"“Feast” is a must see for B-movie fans. It has everything you could want from a monster movie. Monsters? Check. Blood? Lots of it. Dismemberments? Absolutely. Emmanuelle, (Krista Allen), with a shotgun pounding a monsters face in? Heck yeah! The only thing missing from “Feast” is some gratuitous nudity. "

Monday, April 20, 2009

Darkmatters Review - I Love You Man



I Love You Man (15)

Dir. John Hamburg

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Here’s a comedy male bonding experience or ‘bromance’ if you will which tackles the issue of how men find it hard to make friends after a certain age... You know how when you’re six you can just ask any passing boy to come in and jump on your parents bed together and that means you’re pals but that option kind of runs out when you’re through college.

I Love You Man sees wimpy Peter Klaven (Paul ‘Role Models’ Rudd) get engaged to his girlfriend Zooey (Rashida Jones) and then realise that he has no male friends to be in his Wedding party. Cue a series of amusing situations where he tries to meet some new buddies via internet sites, cruising the gym where his gay younger brother works and trying to ingratiate himself with the husbands of his fiancé’s girl friends.

Director John ‘Along Came Polly’ Hamburg gives it a decent go and almost pulls off a Judd Apatow like raucous comedy. But alas I Love You Man runs out of steam and ends up being a forgettable ‘near miss’, too vulgar to be a family friendly flick, not gross out or funny enough to please those who list ‘Knocked Up’ or ‘Superbad’ in their top films. There is a fun cameo from former ‘Hulk’ Lou Ferrigno though which was good value.

So... Just when it looks like Peter is doomed to live with nothing but girls for pals he meets free spirited Sydney Fife’ (Jason ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’ Segel) – who looks exactly like my pal Tom. Sydney is a dictionary definition alpha male slacker, who has his own ‘man cave’ complete with rock instruments, beer fridge and several TVs. Here’s a guy who instils some macho home truths into softy Peter like: “Society tells us we're civilized but the truth is we are animals. Sometimes we just have to let it out.”
But this new found injection of testosterone doesn’t play well with Peter’s intended life partner Zooey who isn’t quite ready to embrace the guitar licking of RUSH or accept the uninhibited masculinity that Sydney brings to the party.
Can Peter balance the mates / wife equation or will it all end in tears?

There’s enough here to make it worth seeing but don’t go expecting anything special or memorable. For you guys reading this – why not get into the spirit of this film by telling a mate who you enjoy hanging out with that you love him… Let me know how that goes.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööö (5 - average when it should have been really funny)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 6
Style 5
Babes 5
Comedy 6
Spiritual Enlightenment 5

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at Hollywood Jesus

- best line:"And so begins what may very well be THE defining film of "Bromedy." Complete with the self-pity inducing "couple montage," a whirlwind of disastrous "first dates," the chance entrance of "the one," the empowering bloom of that relationship, the conflict, the break-up, and the reunion, I Love You, Man couldn't follow the romantic comedy formula any closer. The only difference is that at the center of this platonic comedy are two men."

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Darkmatters gone review'n... with a monkey called Frank




Reviewing things is in my blood...

Have been putting my trusty Vaio laptop through the paces writing up a series of eclectic reviews for the rather wonderful 'Frank The Monkey' entertainment site...

So if you've ever wondered how good I thought:

Funky mad PSP game PATAPON 2
(taster - Prepare to kiss you thumb muscles goodbye as the sequel to the highly addictive rhythm button basher ‘Patapon’ marches back onto the PSP with a mass of new features.)


Not so very grisly murder's in Midsomer Murders
(taster - The fictional Midsomer (where I’m told it’s virtually impossible to get life insurance these days due to it having the highest number of murderers per capita anywhere in the world) is on the surface a tranquil, picturesque, English county.)


Power Metal rockers Blind Guardian
(taster - imagine if Queen had all been possessed by Satan and their ball burning anthems were being used to torment virginal nuns…)


or even

Sadistic death game movie Saw V
(taster - Hello reader, I want to play a game. Right now, you are feeling curious, you’re maybe thinking about watching a horror sequel but you don’t know whether to take a risk on part V of a series which started strong and has got progressively weaker each time out.)

were - then click the link and find out!?

Friday, April 10, 2009

Darkmatters Review - Race To Witch Mountain



Race to Witch Mountain (PG)

Dir. Andy Fickman - The Game Plan etc

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

Buckle up for a hyperactive boost of alien chase action – Disney style…
Race to Witch Mountain is a pseudo remake / update of the 1970’s Escape to Witch Mountain, the new version is every bit as good and boy it looks great – with big expensive special effects running rampant. The budget people at The Mouse House have really gone for the ‘let’s hit the screen with everything we can’ formula. If you sign up for the trip to Witch Mountain you’ll get flashy flying saucers, an evil intergalactic assassin (not a million miles away from a Terminator) and two cool / cute kids with unearthly powers, oh and lots of pile-em-up car chases.



"The clockwork orange experiments - the junior years"

AnnaSophia ‘Bridge to Terabithia’ Robb and Alexander ‘The Dark Is Rising’ Ludwig are Sara and Seth, two alien youngsters who have crash-landed at Witch Mountain in the U.S. Seems that their own world is dying due to pollution (Hhmm – could there be a moral for us being not so subtly squeezed in here?). Now the chase is on for them to recover a vital piece of evidence which might be the key for them to save their own planet. But in true ET style the Government are keen to apprehend and experiment on our young alien visitors.


"Is Annasophia Robb the new Keira Knightley?"

Who can the little lost extraterrestrials turn to for help? Why – only Jack Bruno (Dwayne ‘once known as The Rock’ Johnson) a loveable rogue taxi driver and handily on the scene UFO boffin Alex Friedman (Carla ‘Watchmen’ Gugino).

The action takes place mostly back and forth between Las Vegas and the Nevada desert – the Government goons chase doggedly, some nasty gangsters try to get in on the action and the alien assassin / bounty-hunter blows up lots of stuff. Nothing makes a great deal of sense but as I said before – it sure does look good.
Unfortunately, director Andy’ The Game Plan’ Fickman manages to fumble the action scenes (of which there are lots due to the film being co-written by Mark Bomback of Die Hard 4.0 fame). That leaves little else to impress although the kids try their best and will both probably go on to better things.


"The US Government apparently wants to 'probe' this young alien - how wrong is that?"

I did find the wry section set at a Sci-fi convention appealed to my inner sci-fi nerd, there’s a great moment when two Star Wars Stormtroopers get into Bruno’s taxi, plus there’s the obligatory Disney dog cameo character that raised a smile but overall Race to Witch Mountain is a fun but forgettable family friendly action flick. And it even sets up a sequel…

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 -fun while it lasts but won't be remembered)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 8
Style 7
Babes 7
Comedy 7
Spiritual Enlightenment 5

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at The Guardian - best line:

"At one stage, the aliens explain that they are able to cover vast tracts of outer-space by using wormholes as a shortcut. This made me long for my own personal wormhole, right through to the closing credits."

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Darkmatters Review - The Boat That Rocked



The Boat That Rocked (15)

Dir. Richard Curtis

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

All those wishing to travel aboard the latest feel good vessel helmed by Richard ‘Love Actually’ Curtis should make their way to the nearest cinema now. The Boat That Rocked plots a romantic comedy course through the choppy waters of the late sixties when rock music was deemed unhealthy by the repressive Establishment and the British public had to tune in to ‘pirate’ stations to hear filth like The Rolling Stones.
Blessed with a stellar cast including the always excellent Philip Seymour Hoffman as uber DJ ‘The Count’, Rhys Ifans as super cool (and purple wearing) legend of the airwaves ‘Gavin’ and Bill Nighy as captain of the dubious ship Rock Radio ‘Quentin’. These loveable scallywags are ably supported by comic genius Nick ‘Hot Fuzz’ Frost as literally larger than life ‘Dave’ and Tom Wisdom as the leather trouser wearing sex god ‘Midnight Mark’.
Into this sleazy melting pot of sex, drugs and rock n roll on the ocean waves is thrown virginal youngster Carl (a nicely awkward performance from Tom Sturridge) – he sent onboard after being expelled from school by his swinging mother because one of the men on the boat might just be his father…
Arrayed against the pop loving, sea faring miscreants are the forces of law and order embodied by government minister Dormandy (a tightly wound Kenneth Branagh) and his right hand ‘hit’man who rejoices in the name of ‘Twatt’ (an effectively odious turn from Jack Davenport). Can the powers that be shut down the pirates and win the hearts and minds back of the 23million people who tune in the raucous musical banter? The resulting battle of wits is the main dramatic element of the film which is otherwise a two hour series of set pieces set to the funkiest ‘60s tunes (which music lovers may enjoy even more with their eyes shut). The soundtrack is excellent – The Kinks, The Who, Hendrix, Cream, The Beach Boys… even if you weren’t around to appreciate these at the time there will be many who can discover some cracking tracks (handily available on double disk film soundtrack CD).
As the forces of grey and boring close in on the naughty pirates, the film veers into a pseudo dramatic Titanic-esq homage, will the rogue ‘heroes’ meet a watery grave by the end credits? There is the real danger that all hands will be lost as Curtis ramps up the schmaltz and goes for the sentiment jugular but if you’re able to just appreciate this boat for the mildly funny moments it delivers you’ll go home smiling.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: ööööööö (7 -funky but schmaltzy)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 5
Style 7
Babes 7
Comedy 7
Spiritual Enlightenment 4

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at DEN OF GEEK - best line:

"Remember the 1960s? No? What do you mean you weren't born? What do you mean you were a toddler? Oh, well, Richard Curtis' latest film might still be for you, if you don't mind gulping down a boatload of second-hand nostalgia with your comedy film experience."

Friday, April 03, 2009

Emily Browning - Babetastic in Sucker Punch



"Emily on release in the UK this April - Uninvited"

Emily Browning is a fast rising actress who wowed audiences is Lemony Snicket a couple of years ago... http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2004/12/emily-browning-and-co-stars.html

This month she'll be back on the big screen in The Uninvited which looks okay - better news is that she's just joined the absolutely babelicious cast of Sucker Punch (Evan Rachel Wood, Vanessa Hudgens and Emma Stone to name but a few)...

Sucker Punch is Zack Snyder's follow up to the excellent Watchmen - set for a 2010 release.

Here's miss Browning looking very very good:


"cute"


"Yep - she's a hottie"


"next to be seen in what's being called 'Alice in Wonderland' with machine guns!?"


Check out Darkmatter top ten film babes 2008 ...

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Red Faction Guerrilla- incoming destruction on PS3


"viva la RED FACTION... guerrilla"

Check out the cool trailer for what looks like being one of the most destructive PS3 games to hit this year (ETA 9 June):


"somebody tell the G20"


Have been invited to the closed Beta for this and am looking forward immensely to 'going red'...

Blurb goes: "Set 50 years after the climactic events of the original Red Faction, this third-person open-world action-shooter returns to Mars and once again re-defines the limits of destruction-based game-play."

What with this and the excellent looking Battlefield Bad Company 2 also promising 'more destruction', it sure looks like '09 will be a year when things will go 'boom' - then crumble realistically to the ground... nice one!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Darkmatters review - Knowing



Knowing (15)

Dir. Alex Proyas 'previously of The Crow, Dark City and I Robot'

Reviewed by Matt Adcock

“Knowing me, knowing you, ah ha!!” sorry, the wife’s just been hitting the Singstar Abba on the PS3 – whilst I got to witness Knowing and report back on its merits.

What would you do if you had a list of every major disaster which had occurred for the last 50 years – and it included some that hadn’t happened yet, one of which might just be the end of the entire world? That’s the premise for Alex Proyas’ stylish apocalyptic sci-fi epic Knowing which bites off a hard to digest slice of disturbing ‘fate or determinism’ theological debate.

Nicolas Cage (looking more like a startled goat with every film he makes) is an unlikely astrophysics professor whose son Caleb (rising child star Chandler ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ Canterbury) is the recipient of the disaster tracking page of numbers.

Things get progressively more freaky as the predicted disasters occur in a flurry of budget trashing large scale set pieces that include a truly horrific subway train crash. Knowing keeps the audience guessing by setting up a string of key questions such as ‘What happened to the odd looking little girl who wrote the doomsday number list itself as part of a school time capsule project?’, ‘Why didn’t she fill in a National Lottery grid or two and live happily ever after?’ or ‘who are those weird, darkly clad mystery men who start following young Caleb around?’ There are lots of ideas here, mix and matching influences from numerous sci-fi classics and the result has polarised critics but for me Knowing delivered a decent slice of nail biting hokum.

I freely confess to being a big fan of Alex ‘The Crow and Dark City’ Proyas, he is a visionary director whose last movie I Robot managed to turn the Asimov’s high brow robo-future nightmare into a decent action flick for Will Smith. Here, even saddled with a rank performance from Cage, there is much to appreciate - not least the impressively bleakly hopeful spiritual elements that elevate this way beyond the like of weaker end of days efforts such as The Happening.

Biblical in its scope and uncompromising in the scenes of devastation Knowing isn’t really light entertainment. But, if you’re looking for something to provoke debate and make you wonder again about our human nature and future destiny you ‘know’ what to choose.

Arbitrary Darkmatters final rating of: öööööööö (8 -Not Knowingly Underwhelmed)

Darkmatters quick reference guide:

Action 8
Style 8
Babes 6
Comedy 6
Spiritual Enlightenment 9

Not convinced? check out this review of the film over at FANGORIA - best line:

"And the simple fact that it has more on its mind than the usual empty megamovie spectacle is a plus, even if that mind is severely addled. KNOWING is a lot of things—too many things—but dull isn’t one of them.."